The disappointed self!

In life, we meet so many people along our journey, some people leave a deep, ever lasting foot print while walking with us and some tend to clover on our shoulder, piggybacking till they reach their destination..and then just jump off. I have met my share of both..the later a lot more often than the first. Recently I met someone in the first category, who happened to give me an insight at myself..by asking a simple question, you are not what you claim to be...and so begins..
To many I come off as the ever smiling, cordial, jovial person, who is well grounded and yet to some I come off as a stubborn, and even sarcastic snob, who thinks she can do no wrong. I agree, occasionally I can be a real bull, unwavering in my ways, but I don't think I have ever been intentionally rude or snub someone..and the worst, I am always open to people telling me my short comings, but alas, people would rather gossip about it than tell me, straight up whats wrong with me, hell that helps so much, straighten out misunderstandings and in a weird kind of way, strengthens the friendship/bond. I have changed myself for many people, over the time, and yet sometimes I wonder, if I should have, sometimes I think I have changed for the better and sometimes not. For instance, I realized, only yesterday, while talking to a certain someone close, that I am not all that talkative anymore, that I claimed I used to be. I have quietened down quite a bit over the years, I don't know if thats good or bad, but it was never intentional, I realize, I don't hold long conversations without "so, whats next" or "what else" cropping up every now and then, unless I am talking to someone I haven't spoken for in ages! I do not like this change in me, for once, I want to go back to being able to talk for hours, on anything, now I seem to be able to sustain a long conversation, if its about life, philosophy or something related to cars/stars blah! How boring! Sigh...I am disappointed with myself. It would be right to say to myself, for once...change sucks!